(no subject)

Who: Bro Strider and You, then closed to Osomatsu
What: Bro has a special broadcast for the town, then its training time.
Where: The mirrors, then Bro's house
When: Sunday, May 28
Warnings: Bro Strider. Puppets. We're doing this.

Mirrors

[Yet again, some asshole has set up a laptop in front of the mirror to play a video.

This time, the video seems to start on a hideous rainbow background with clip-art suns and moons, with a puppet finally appearing that appears to be dressed in a maid cafe outfit that some fuckwit stole from the business. The words "NYOI-CHO-KUN-CHAN-SAN" slowly appear over the intro, with what appears to be a pencil with strips of raw bacon attached to it appears in Nyoi-cho-kun-chan-san's hand as her 'wand'.

Then we jump cut to Bro Strider, putting on an exaggerated fearful face for a good ten seconds before he actually shouts something.]

Nyoi-cho-kun-chan-san! The town is in trouble! You need to get your shit together and help!

[Then the screen cuts to Nyoi-cho-kun-san, laid on the couch in a position to imply depression or anxiety and fear, arms wobbling off the couch, just so done with the world. 'She' mumbles little whining words, not any that could be understood. Just pure nonsense, like this whole display is.

Cut back to Bro Strider drinking a mountain dew, then acting like he forgot he was on camera as he fumbles to put it away.]

Seriously, Nyoi-cho-kun-chan-san! If you don't do anything no one will! You've got to get up and get moving or the whatever the fuck is going to destroy this shithole.

[A beat. And then an exaggerated fear reaction.]

No Nyoi-cho-kun-chan-san! Not towards the fire you dumb fuck!

[And that's when there's a scene of the puppet 'flying' onto one of the burners on Bro's stove, which just happens to be on. The scenes of Nyoi-cho-kun-chan-san burning are interspersed with Bro looking properly horrified and fitting music.

Eventually, Bro just pulls his sword out to scrape the puppet off the burner. Then he gets a pan and scrambles some eggs in that pan on the same burner. Then he makes some bacon. Then he puts both in a blender along with the rest of his mountain dew and mixes that shit up nice before going back to sit down and watch some TV.

For those who bother, there is just fifteen extra minutes of the video of Bro just watching TV and drinking his awful smoothie.]

Bro's House, Closed to Osomatsu

[Bro didn't usually take on people to train. It wasn't his style. But Osomatsu, at least, seems like a relatively cool dude unlike a lot of these assholes. If he can help the dude get some serious training and survival in here, hell. It's a win for everyone, far as he's concerned. Just another way for Bro Strider to bless the fucking world.

Anyway, door's open to his house, Osomatsu. Whenever you're ready, it's time to enter the lion's den.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ This is a work of art and he hates how masterfully done it is. How dare you be good at this, Bro?

Ugh.

Uuuuugh.

Maybe he can just... extend the olive branch. Over this shitpost.]

Nicely done.

[Bro doesn't take to the mirrors immediately. He can't. Because he can't let Dirk see the smirk he's wearing at that statement, or how gratifying even hearing it is. Finally. This little poser punk version of himself realizes his place in front of him in something.

When he does turn the mirror to himself, there Bro is, sucking the glass he'd made his damn smoothie in on to his face before letting it go with a pop, catching it in his hand.]

It's alright.

[He tosses the glass up, small rivlets of brownish-green mush still clinging to the glass and dripping towards the floor before Bro catches it again. It was nicely done, let's be real, but you don't just kiss your own asshole when you're talking your art.]

Could've maybe found a better music selection, but all in all I think it got the message across.

[Bro will accept that olive branch for now. Whether it's to truly shake on it or just twist it in half, even he doesn't quite know yet.]

[ ... He doesn't trust Bro. Not by a long shot. In fact, he's pretty sure that Bro can and will kill him if given half a chance... but all things considered, he'd assumed the same of Hal.

And he'd rather keep his enemies close. ]

I'd say lower the production value further, if you intend to make a sequel.

[The distrust goes both ways. Bro would be happy to keep punching and punching at Dirk if given the chance, but he clearly isn't getting it right now. Going too hard, too, had been a miscalculation he had made upon getting here. Unlike Dirk, Bro wasn't used to dealing with other versions of himself. He had expected dealing with Dirk would be too much like dealing with Dave.

That's not a miscalculation he can make again. It was damaging enough the first time he went to far on that. He's got to treat the dude like some little version of himself, as odd as it even is to try and think of that.]

Possible. Thought about maybe making some crayola drawings, pinning them to the wall and just going through it with a phone camera. Kind of decided on this because I thought it was shitty enough but visceral enough to get attention.

[really, for someone to think Osomatsu's cool is, like, the best present you can bestow on this poor man. only a few days after his birthday, and Bro calls on him to train, and Osomatsu is ready.

ready to die, probably.

still, he comes prepared. he's got a first-aid kit with him, and also a couple cans of beer from the bar as payment. he's as nervous as all hell, because Bro looks like a seriously tough dude, all muscley. he's probably seen his share of fights.

he finds Bro's house and wanders in, calling out] Hello! I'm here! It's Osomaaaaatsuuu!

[It doesn't take long for things to take a bit of a step up. After Osomatsu walks far enough into the house, the door to the house slams shut behind him. If Osomatsu turns to look back at the door, he might see a shadowy figure. But just barely, because it darts out of sight as quickly as it came.

Bro doesn't have all his speed back. But for someone not used to dealing with flash stepping, it could be overwhelming. Not like that should matter at all here. We're here to tear kids gloves off. We're here to get straight down to it. He probably can't mess with Osomatsu too much directly that isn't aggressive, not yet. He's tempted to just take the beer right out of Osomatsu's hands, but he isn't sure he's up to snuff for that yet.

So indirect tactics win the day at the moment.

Just like the fact that, if Osomatsu looks back at the door, he'll suddenly find that there are weird smuppets sitting on the counter that hadn't been there before. It's kind of unsettling.

Maybe even more unsettling is the decor of the house. Everything seems to be made out of smuppets: smuppet chairs, felt backed and fluffy. Smuppets lamps, light extending out of the mouth of a massive puppet like some kind of fucking occult laser. Smuppet themed sinks, with the water spigot being a puppet's nose.

Perhaps it isn't too late to back out Osomatsu.]

[as soon as that door slams shut, Osomatsu jumps. he should have been expecting that. maybe he should have brought Karamatsu along for support. but, no, he's here alone, here to train.

Osomatsu doesn't know Bro very well yet, but he does know a few things about him. like, that he's a guy who won't hold back. their brief meeting at the grocery store also told Osomatsu that Bro was a practical joker, but he doesn't get the feeling that Bro is joking now.

...though, this decor. it's weird. incredibly bizarre. someone likes puppets a lot. either that, or Bro is just trying to fake Osomatsu out. maybe he doesn't normally live like this, with all these puppets around?

Osomatsu gulps and sets down the beer and first-aid kit on a smuppet table. then he summons his staff. he walks deeper into the house, scanning the place for any sign of Bro]

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mirrors

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welp

HEre we go mupppet boy

muppet meets smuppets